It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
