omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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