So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
