Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Randomize
