I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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