I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
