I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
