i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
