just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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