I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
