The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
