hell yes lets make some ravioli
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
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