Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
