ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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