That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
