I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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