So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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