Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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