He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
