the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
