everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Randomize