How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
