you win again, gameday.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
