you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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