Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
