i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
