He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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