I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
My breasts were aching with rage.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
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