do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
