if you like me you must not know who I am
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
We need a shit load of segways right now
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
