weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize