i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
You did what with his pubic hair?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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