She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
