Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I think my moral compass just broke
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
