She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
