dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
