I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize