Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
