I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize