carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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