The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You've changed since you got that strap on
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
