you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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