I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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