Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
