sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
