so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
