We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
