lets start a swedish sibling band together
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
