that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
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