chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
