ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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