Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
