he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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