I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
