someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Sacagawea was the original milf.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
