he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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