Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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