there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
