before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
my liver is dry heaving
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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