he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
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