Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
