I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
