i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
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