When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
