Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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