I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
