Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize