She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
