What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
why is half of my head shaved?
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
