Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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