Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
